And the man said, the woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave of the tree, and I did eat” (Genesis 3 vs 12). The people given to us as family, friends or spouse will determine a lot in our lives.
They will give us something that may make or mar our lives and our history forever. People give us what they have (Acts 3 vs 6). Some may not have silver or gold, but they have what can make you leave stagnancy and achieve your greatest dreams.
Some will give us money in exchange of the gifts in our lives. (Acts 8 vs 20-21). We don’t know what exactly the people in our lives have brought with them.
But when we fall in love, we are hopeful that our partner will give us something good. In fact, when we marry or have someone as a best friend, we expect them to give us the best of them. We ‘covet earnestly the best gifts’ from the people with whom we share a certain level of closeness or intimacy.
We want the people in our lives to treat us rightly. And giving is one basic way of expressing our love, but what we give shows how much we love. The basic principle is “give and it shall be given unto you” (Luke 6 vs 38).
Whatever we want from our spouse is what you must prepare yourself to give. Whether we know about love and self-sacrifice or not, love demands love.
We want people to give us back what we would give. Giving in loving relationship is not necessarily an exchange, but the character of love keeps giving without asking for a return, though it certainly expects or wishes it to be so. It is a beautiful thing to love, but very satisfying if we are loved back. Virtue came from Jesus and healed the people.
Do what you give bring healing, relief, hope and strength? Do you offer to your spouse what will set them free from their past, guilt or something they are struggling with? There are things we give in marriage, more than money, more than sex. Those are important though, but really to be fulfilled in marriage, there are things we really desire.
There is something to say here. If you take the sweet, you will taste the bitter. It was Job who said to his wife, “shall we receive good at the hand of God and shall we not receive evil?” (Job 2 vs 10).
We want the best from our friends and loved ones. We want them to act nobly, purely, faithfully, diligently and godly. And it is good. Many times, we throw away good people who did a bad thing. It is not wrong to want to enjoy your marriage and everything that will be enjoyed, but be endured.
There is a part you must endure. This idea of enjoying marriage and not enduring it is foreign to the way God planned it. Even good things will require endurance.
Love suffereth long and is still kind. That is what true love is. We can’t get the best of a person or a relationship if we are not ready to manage or endure the worst of it. Even our Christian life and relationship with God would have some dark days when it seems God has forsaken us.
There are times when we have secrets doubts about the things we believe and the struggle is stiff. But Jesus said “whosoever shall endure to the end, the same shall be saved” (Matthew 24 vs 13).
This modern day preachers teach that belonging to Jesus solves all your problems and fail to tell you that you will suffer a lot because you bear the same name that can cast out devils and heal the sick.
The world will hate you and your faith guts. A part of the journey will not be easy! So it is in marriage. We exaggerate the bliss and fun in marriage and young people excitedly rush into it without considering what they would have to fight and love against hate. Believe the best in spite of the odds and hold on till the end.
Marriage and future generation is worth that fight, faith, force, passion, patience and prayer. In summary, what do we really want when we entered into marriage with all its insecurities and uncertainty? We want blind trust. When people say they want to know all about the person they date before marriage, I wonder! If you know the person yesterday and today, do you know tomorrow? People changes as times do.
Nothing is wrong in taking caution before choosing a partner, but once you have chosen, why demand what the person did before meeting you? I stand to be corrected, but suppose it were you? I teach the Bible, but I watch movies sometimes and I have seen the movie, original sin, with Antonio Banderas and Angelina Jolie and I was touched.
Banderas (not the name in the movie) said to Jolie after series of betrayals, “I love you from start to finish.” At this point, she has poisoned his tea and intend to run away with her always boyfriend. Banderas knew about the poison, heard the plan, but drank it (I don’t recommend that o). That changed her.
We want someone to love us with a blind trust. Just trust that this one won’t harm you. We need it in marriage. Unconditional love….. In every relationship, love is the glue. But what kind of love? Some people like ‘eros,’ the sexual form of expressing affection. In fact, that is all they know. You say I love you to your mother, your friend and the person you want to have sex with.
What is the difference? But in marriage, we want love that we can rely on. In marriage, we should know that we are loved, no matter what. Sex should be great in marriage.
In fact, hugging, kissing and other desires to be with someone is a way of living. But it is more. There is a more excellent way of loving. Sometimes without really saying it, your spouse feel it, knows it. Quarrels, betrayals, misunderstanding won’t drown it. It is stable; it is sustained all the way.
A love that sees all your faults and won’t go away is what I am talking about. Open hands- generosity is viewed in different ways. Some people think it is about money and the surplus of it that makes people generous. I think to be generous is an attitude of giving. You will be able to share everything with the person you love.
What you have, she has. Your hands are open, you are eager to share or even part with things for the benefit of the other. No one likes a stingy person. All sweet talks without a hand stretched to help are vain.
Pastor Ezeala C. Samuel.
